Scorer #318

From this point forward I would like to be addressed as Scorer #318, my new identity according to the Department of Education, for whom I scored 6th Grade NYS Math Tests all day Thursday and Friday. To be accurate, I actually only spent approximately 3.5 hours of the 13 hours doing any real semblance of work. This is not because I was lazy but because the Regional people in my region are so grossly incompetent that we did not have the materials, space, or instruction necessary to work for the majority of the time we were there. Upon entering the school that my region was assigned to for grading, we were given an index card with our name, training room #, scoring group letter, and lunch group number and told to proceed to the school cafeteria for breakfast, which consisted of bagels tasting the way I imagine the styrofoam plates they were served on tasted as well as corn muffins which they ran out of before I could grab one, pineapple/orange juice which I avoided, and coffee which tasted similar to turpentine with sugar.

When my colleague and I, who signed in together and therefore were placed in the same room, arrived at our initial room [rooms were numbered not according to the actual room number, but with seemingly random signs -- our room which was 631, was actually on the 4th floor in room #421, next to regionally named room 645 which was actually room #423, or something like that]. We were in a science room of sorts. There were an estimated 25 plants in planters, 6 fishtanks with assorted tropical fish, and a bunny rabbit chewing celery blockaded in the corner. There was no desk space and about 10 chairs for 20 people. We sat there for an hour before anyone addressed us and then were told that we would be moving rooms since this wasn't "ideal" for training or grading.

We moved on to a regular classroom, where we waited another 45 minutes for training materials and then were asked to give up our training materials since the Region didn't have enough. Our trainer refused to have us do that. Then we were moved to another room for grading, where we were given a "table leader" and waited yet another hour for tests to grade. By this time, it was 11:30am [over 3 hours after we arrived] and the first lunch group was sent to lunch. Our lunch came late because Lunch Group 1 ate all the Regional lunch and they had to make more nasty sandwiches for us.

We got pizza instead and drank giant sodas and enjoyed the sunshiney sidewalk, noting the chicken slaughterhouse down the road where there were hundreds of chickens in cages, squawking, and vowing to become vegetarians as soon as possible.

The afternoon was only 2 hours long although they did require us to work the 37.5 minutes [the loudspeaker announcement threatened to "tattle" on anyone who left before 3:17.5pm].

Today was even worse, as we completed all of our grading by 11am and were told we should remain in the building "or else" in order to be trained on "Quality Control" [never happened] and fill out "Reflection" surveys on how this test scoring could inform our teaching.

Overall the tests were pretty poor--kids needed to find the area of someone's yard given the length of the sides and some would write things like "If you add up the numbers you get 120 but I think that the man would need like 50 seeds for his yard since 120 is a big number." One kid drew little boxes on the page that looked like "1 unit" to him and then counted them up and said "when I filled it out it was 97 units and I'm guessing that each unit needs a seed so that is how many seeds I would buy at the store." All the kids actually needed to do was take the measurements of each side and multiply to find the area. Woops.

The biggest debate was over a question about perimeter that asked you to draw a rectangle on a grid with a certain perimeter and explain the lengths of each side. Some scorers thought you should get a point just for having a rectangular shape on the grid but my table maintained that you should know the shape of a rectangle in kindergarten and should not get points for shape recognition alone.

Note to Scorer #121: learn how to fill in a godd*mn scantron bubble. It's not that hard.

But the grand finale to the two day Scoring-Fun was my trainride home today in which 2 girls who looked like they were in eigth grade, one of whom was carrying a baby, got in a screaming fight with a man who was clearly a little bit crazy and unstable on the train who was carrying a bike with no seat and one wheel and screaming about nonsense and Jesus. Somehow the fight escalated into a "you're not my Mama" [Crazy Guy] and a "F*ck you at least I'm somebody's Mama" [8th grader]. The whole train got involved:

High School Boys: Yo man here's $2, chill out.

8th Grade Girls: He needs that cash to get himself a job, yo. Shut up we don't wanna hear your a$$ shoutin all day long.

Crazy Person: Bless your soul child your baby needs a real Mama

8GG: Sh*t I'll f*ck you up my baby has a good Mama your Mama didn't raise you right

CP: I bet you don't even know your baby's Daddy name

8GG: I'll slap the sh*t outta you you f*ckin bum I know my baby Daddy name is Lashawn Davis so f*ck you motherf*cker

Rest of the train: Ohhhhh dis, that bum dissed you girl

CP: I pity your child how old are you girl?

At this point the Crazy Person throws the $2 he was given at the girl and says"I think you need this more than I do"

Rest of the train: That bum gave you money girl! You must feel cheap now!

Lots of hooting and hollering and banging on the seats, me and my new best friend--the women next to me--are muttering about how we cannot believe this is actually happening. A man in a business suit gets up to leave the train...

Man in suit: Girl I came from a place like where you are now and look at me now I own my own company and girl, who you trying to dis on in your godd*mn pajamas on the train carryin' a baby around when you like 14 years old. I bet this man here [referring to Crazy Person] has a better future in store for him than you do, disrespecting strangers like you all Queen Sheeba. Shut your mouth and give the rest of us a rest.

Applause, hooting, laughing

Crazy Person leaves train and 8th grade girl tears up the $2 and throws it at the closing train doors, cursing loudly at him.

8th Grade Girl: Sh*t let's get off this train dawgs, this sh*t is rank, I'm out.

Girls leave train, and the rest of us sit, laughing, wondering what the hell just happened.

End Scene [and week].