Sonya has found MySpace. And apparently she found a lovely poem on it called "Why Sex is Like Math" and then passed it around to my homeroom. On the 2nd day of our poetry unit, I suppose I should be proud? I confiscated it from Adrian. He put his head in his hands and said "f*ck." I knew I had gotten a good one.
Here is the text of this phenomenal piece of literature:
S*X IS A TEMPTATION
CAUSED BY A SENSATION
WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION
IN A WOMAN'S VENTILATION
DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION?
OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION?
SKY IS BLUE
WATER IS WET
I'LL MAKE YOU C*M
I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT
PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY
MOVIN UP AND DOWN
SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY
WE WILL MOVE THE GROUND
S*X IS EVIL
S*X IS A GAME
ONE NIGHT OF PASSION
NINE MONTHS OF PAIN
BABY'S A BASTARD
FATHERS A GIT
ALL BECAUSE THE CONDOM SPLIT!
S*X IS LIKE MATH
YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES
ADD THE BED
DIVIDE THE LEGS
AND HOPE YOU DONT MULTIPLY!
ROSES ARE RED
GRASS IS GREEN
OPEN YOUR LEGS
AND I'LL FILL YOU WITH CREAM
HICKERY DICKERY DOC
DIS B*TCH WAS SUCKIN MY C*CK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
I DUMPED MY GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT DA END OF THE BLOCK!!!
S*X IS GOOD
S*X IS FINE
DOGGY STYLE OR 69
JUST FOR FUN
OR GETTING PAID
EVERYONE LIKES GETTING LAID
S*X IS EVIL
S*X IS A SIN
SINS ARE FORGIVEN
SO STICK IT IN!!!
Underneath, there were a number of statistics involving the amount of calories involved when you participate in various sexual acts. Then a curious point system with variables like "soft or hard?" and "rough or gentle? [rough means it hurts]."
I have no further comment.
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3 comments:
First, I hoped you contacted Sonya's mother and inform her what she was doing on myspace.
Second, does she know all the sexual actions she downloaded? I grew up in a rough section of NYC and was very streetwize. However, it wasn't till college that I even knew many (not all) of the things that Sonya gave out. If she does understand it, that is very scary and disturbing.
I've read at least three of those before, and all in my junior high and high school years. The only difference today is that instead of being written on bathroom stalls or in bus shelters, they're writing them on MySpace.
Even so, you knew that those things were to be read and giggled (or pondered, if you were naive like me at the time) at. Even some of the raunchier kids at my school knew not to bring it into the classroom and risk getting in trouble. Her parents need to be contacted and maybe they need to monitor her computer use a little more.
I'm just guessing here, that Sonya would be more likely to get in trouble with her parents for the teacher's having called them period than she would get in trouble with them for sharing a poem like this in class. Am I wrong?
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