I know what you're thinking...

...she's overcompensating. Twice in one day? Yes, it's true.

I just arrived at home, at 10pm, from a long day of work. After my regular school day, I commuted to a four hour orientation for the grad course I'm teaching this summer. It was actually not as bad as it sounds--answered a lot of questions that I had about the structure of the course and the people who are teaching the course are all very well educated and interesting. I've been kind of craving discourse on educational topics lately, some kind of warm up for going back to school. I think it is going to test my abilities to remain neutral in a classroom environment full of strong personalities, some of whom I may not agree with. I am also excited to facilitate grown up discussions about topics I am passionate about.

But this is not why I decided to write.

Upon leaving orientation at 8pm, thunder and lightning were crashing all around us as we waited for the shuttle to the train station. A number of us waited for the shuttle and then the train which was apparently having mechanical issues [always nice to hear when you are on an elevated metal train during a lightning storm], and I left my iPod at home today and all I could think was that here I was stuck on a train with the person who interviewed and hired me and 3 of my new colleagues and I was wet and tired and had a long commute ahead of me. And we sat for about 15 minutes just waiting for the train to move. But the conversation was actually quite engaging and I spoke with my colleagues about PhD programs and educational research and a whole bunch of nerdy stuff. And then Mr. Magic boarded our car.

From the get-go you could tell that Mr. Magic was not your ordinary subway performer. He was loud and garish, long curly greasy hair, magic top hat, clown pantaloons, a "magic box" which he afixed to the subway pole and proceeded to get up in everyone's face with his blue magic wand [no that is not a euphemism] which most people were resistant to hold on to. First, he made a fake rodent jump out of a box that was seemingly empty. Then he came over to me and my colleagues and one of them took the wand and tapped on this "empty" bag and then he takes it and actually GRABS MY LEGS and swoops the bag underneath my legs 2 times and with a flourish, produces a pair of red thong underwear which he tosses on to my backpack which was on my lap. I do not know how to react to this. If I was not in front of my new colleagues [including the lady who hired me] I might have told the guy to f*ck off for touching me and then pretending to steal my underwear, or pushed him away or something but instead I was just stunned. Everyone was pretty embarrassed. The lady who hired me was laughing so hard she was bright red and the rest of us were just jaw-dropped.

He moves on to the guy next to me and when he taps his wand on a metal bowl, a motherf-ing bird flies out of it and onto his shoulder. All I could think was what if I happened to have severe bird phobia and had a panic attack or something? Needless to say, the entire routine was very invasive and uncomfortable and we did not give him any money in his magic top hat. Then one of my colleagues remarks "I wish we could have given him a workshop evaluation like the one we just filled out" and we giggled and I think in the end it was a bonding experience for us all, but I still feel kind of icky about that sketchy underwear on my lap.

A word of warning: if you see Mr. Magic on the train, pretend you are sleeping.